Do you remember the TV show Father Knows Best? Yeah, I do too. *Wince* OK well, age comments aside, Robert Young’s character was the quintessential PROJECTOR. How come, you ask? The answer is right in the opening of every show. Each week he comes home at the end of a busy day at the office. One by one, each family member comes into the room to greet Father with smiles, love, and anticipation. With each member’s greeting Father lights up a little more. Finally Father is home and the family is complete and everyone is grinning like they just won the lottery. The relationship between the PROJECTOR and the others (especially the Generators) is essential and deeply interdependent. Now if Robert Young comes home from a busy day and everyone was gone, or worse….ignored him? Or he went to The Simpson’s house by mistake? The kids would be playing video games, Mom would be on the phone with dinner only half prepared and the dog would be chewing on the rug. About this time, Father’s ready for a drink instead of his expected hugs.
So why is it, that the thing Projectors absolutely require and need the most is so elusive? I wish I could bottle the solution. But a look at how Projectors relate with Generators will provide some clues.
Generators ENERGIZE! Projectors when they:
- Appreciate them authentically through your words and deeds.
- Invite them! Invite them for lunch, to a phone conversation, a movie, a sporting event, or a book store. Last month a Projector friend of mine was in town for business. I offered to pick him up at his hotel for our dinner plans. He was familiar with the area, had his own car and perfectly capable of getting from point A to point B and back. It was a simple gesture of recognition. When I picked him up he gushed with appreciation.
- Ask them if you’d like their perspective. Such as, “What do you see with this situation, account or project?” or “Any suggestions on how I/we can improve on _____?”
- Inform them respectfully if they give you advice before you’ve asked. Tell them, “Hey, this works a lot better for me if you would give me feedback this way or that way.”
- Mindful of their energy level. Do you have the energy and desire to support your Projector relationships or their projects? Keep them informed on what’s working for you and discuss ways to improve on it.
Generators gift people and projects with their endless nurturing and sustainability. To allocate their force appropriately they a have simple process to live by, wait to respond. On their own, they can initiate conversation to engage other Generators or Projectors. If there’s no feedback, respond or engagement, it is best to hold off moving forward until you clearly having something to respond to. In other words, if they hit the ball across the net and it doesn’t come back, give it a rest.
A Projectors function is to guide and direct others. Their over-eagerness to assist and be involved with others comes at a high cost; vitality and effectiveness as a leader. Projectors can become too concerned with pleasing or supporting their team. Often finding they’ve jumped in before being asked. Repeating this pattern can feel like they have a tear in their gas tank, hoping to make it to the weekend to fill-up.
To avoid this predicable dilemma, Projectors approach to relationships is quite different. Where the Generator initiates asking and inviting. The Projector approach is to be silent and notice before they engage. Undoubtedly, a Projector knows best. They’re gifted with keen intelligence, sense of people and an ability to read an environment marking essential traits for better functioning teams and families. Projectors can balance their relationships and vitality. Consider:
- Be clear on your criteria. Ask yourself; what do you want from (person or project)? Is this mutually beneficial? Are you jumping in too soon? Step one to having better relationships is know what you want. If you sense something is off, wait it out. Time is on your side.
- You know what you know about a situation or person. TRUST in your knowing. To anchor your knowing take frequent breaks away from the influence of the Generators magnetic energy.
- Avoid the quicksand of busyness and doing-ness. This is not your style. Before you offer or agree, examine. What is all this busyness about? Is this effective, efficient for them (for me)? Is there a better way? Your honest assessment can save resources down the road.
- You’ll be more centered and provide better guidance when you’re less concerned about talking and doing. When you walk into a group or meeting…stop, wait, investigate, consider. This is your moment. Is this the right environment? Right people?
- Pursue and study your passions; be it a new marketing or sales strategy, logistics, expressive arts, gardening, or the sciences. A Projector happily engaged and intrigued pulls the interest of others to them.
For Projectors to get the cooperation and attention to fulfill their purpose, requires them to tune in to subtle energies. They need a pause to assess situations and intentions of others. Certainly it takes practice, patience and a commitment to test these methods. Even the most evolved Projectors can succumb to the influential forces of the Generator. Holding back (for clarity) through uncomfortable intervals positions them as better leaders.
In a world that seems complicated and out of control, many would rather bury themselves in their work and avoid conversations when possible. Yet, we need each other to progress and evolve. We want better relationships and less stress. A little of the Father Knows Best factor would be a welcome change. Knowing and applying Type (Generator & Projector) tactics creates cohesive teams and families. We’ve learned that striving for perfection brings chaos and disappointment. A more realistic approach begins with knowing our gifts and the strategies that support them. Learn them and practice them, daily. Then we all can celebrate and enjoy the progress.
Read more about the Generator’s process.
June 1 @ 6:00 PM PT. To attend a free call for and about Projectors, send an email to: groupcall@alignwithyourdesign.com
{ 1 trackback }